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Washington Football Team: Ranking the options for WFT’s new name

Tuesday’s announcement that the Washington Football Crew will launch their rebrand on February 2 got here with a distressing caveat: Their name is not going to be the Pink Wolves, which was unquestionably the better of the bandied about nicknames. The name was in style sufficient amongst followers to warrant a proof (that, like every little thing else in life, the coolest issues are smothered in a vat of authorized paperwork).

On-line crowdsourced mockups had the group wanting like the product of our children-of-the-Nineties New World Order fever dreams. Lastly, we’d all have a spot to put on our Kevin Nash-inspired cutoff t-shirts once more and blast this theme song in our cars (possibly I nonetheless do anyway). We’re headed to some probably grim occasions with the remaining potential options on the market and, I worry, the finish outcome may find yourself wanting like some sort of softened company mascot higher outfitted to promote insurance coverage or large-button telephones to the aged.

That mentioned, it’s vital to have a look at what’s left amongst the remaining names that we all know of. This checklist is, reportedly, not a ultimate checklist of the remaining names in consideration, however it’s pretty much as good a place to begin as any. Should you haven’t already had your fill of energy rankings at present, here’s a checklist of what the WFT ought to do with their new name a month from now, rated from finest to worst.

1. The Hogs

That is the solely remaining appropriate selection. The Hogs or the Pink Hogs or any iteration of the Hog branding universe wouldn’t solely be acceptable, however probably distinctive. Glimpses of the uniform present us solely gold stars on the again of a burgundy jersey, which, whereas not leaving any direct clues, stands in stark distinction to a pig aesthetic. The celebrities give us a navy/America vibe, and fewer of a rural hooved animal vibe. Nevertheless, it does open the door for a sort of upscaled pig. In my head, I’m picturing a golden warthog-looking creature, with the stars serving as some sort of militaristic tie in (maybe the pig is carrying a uniform? Perhaps the pig served a number of excursions?) If Washington doesn’t stick to the Football Crew, constructing round their secondary name can be akin to the Browns calling themselves the Dawgs or the Eagles calling themselves the Birds. It’s one thing a variety of us would do anyway, it’s one thing with historic significance, it’s one thing with built-in merchandising and there’s a lot of potential on the indignant, violent pig entrance. You could possibly come out each week to the third-best song on Pink Floyd’s Animals record. Additionally, the announcement is being made on Groundhog Day. Coincidence?

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Washington Football Team defensive end Montez Sweat (90) and defensive tackle Jonathan Allen (93) wait for play to resume against the Dallas Cowboys at AT&T Stadium.

2. Washington Football Crew

I believe we will stay with a everlasting WFT situation. Whereas it will be anticlimactic and largely a waste of the multi-million greenback branding effort Washington initiated to discover a new nickname, you may make up for the lack of enthusiasm by nailing the jerseys and maybe flipping back to one of the retro helmet looks; maybe the script letter in the circle with out the offensive feathers accompanying the design. Whereas I don’t love the Washington Football Crew, it’s beginning to develop into snug to us. We’ve made our little jokes. We like to listen to Scott Hanson say “The Football Crew” on RedZone. It’s rising on us like a too-big sweater our dad and mom obtained us a number of Christmases in the past. The opposite motive I like WFT comparatively, is as a result of a few of the different names are simply drained or problematic thematically. Whereas none of them are offensive, I believe, as you’ll see, I could make a case that they’ll be thorny in the worst of circumstances.

3-6. Brigade, Armada, Defenders, Commanders

Whereas I’ve no downside tying your self to a militaristic nickname personally, we’ve definitely gone via our ebbs and flows as a society and a rustic when it comes to our relationship with navy conflicts, military-related points and military-themed issues and Washington might wish to assume long run right here. To me, until you might be West Level, the Naval Academy, the Air Drive or some comparable, storied navy operation, it’s troublesome to correctly seize the sentiment, the satisfaction and the traditions with out seeming a bit pandery. Boxing your self right into a year-long Salute to Service sort of deal is definitely an admirable concept, although I might be prepared to wager that members of our armed forces would extra actively admire us lobbying for higher healthcare and societal acclimation packages after they return from responsibility than for us to name a cool combating factor after their occupation. If Washington’s trigger finally ends up being a militaristic nickname together with an outward dedication for higher psychological, bodily and emotional care for our troops? Signal me up. If it’s only a cool camouflage hooded sweatshirt, I believe we will all move on the concept. Once more, this isn’t to disparage our nation’s navy historical past, its nice generals, courageous troopers and the life their work has afforded us. I might be genuinely to see what the navy group would consider a military-inspired nickname and the way they want it to be dealt with (e mail us at [email protected]!). Plus, the Patriots sort of have this market cornered, no?

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7. The Presidents

As I discussed in my preliminary put up speculating what the nicknames could be, no matter your political affiliation I believe we will all agree that, in the quick time period, it doesn’t look like we’re in an period that may produce a universally in style president. The approval rankings of the present and most up-to-date former president are hanging under 50%. The rhetoric has not calmed a lot, if in any respect. Having a nickname that displays the workplace holder each 4 years, even not directly, makes a few of the gear just about unwearable for half of your fan base in alternate cycles. 

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